Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
