I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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