Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
