He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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