I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
whose ass print is on the piano?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
When are your genitals available?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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