you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
