Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She has the best kind of daddy issues
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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