I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize