Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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