Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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