Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
