There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
