Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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