We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
not ubering you a puppy
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
