____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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