Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
