I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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