Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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