once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
