So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
