Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
