you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
