BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
