and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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