I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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