Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
