fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
