why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
