so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
