would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
