I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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