His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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