I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
