What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
