never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
