she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
