No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
