I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
