I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
