she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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