he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
