....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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