Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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