So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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