I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
