Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
