I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
