Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
