His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
