just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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