Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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