I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Found your dick twin last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
