you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
