I just pynch a tree in the face
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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