and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think your dad took our porno
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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