I'm lost and stupid without you.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
