He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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