:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
