I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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