i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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