On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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