tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
