Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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