Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
