found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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