I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
