Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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