so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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