My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
